02.12.07 (10:57 pm) [
edit]
Confession time.
And this one’s a doozy. It was inspired by a post I just read on the scarily prolific Friendly Fire. He has a two-year-old daughter and blogged complaining that he catches absolutely everything she catches at child-care. Fair enough. But the reason his immune system is so low, he believes, is because he himself was never sent to child-care as a kid and hence didn’t have that glorious, scarifying time of sickness and strengthening, catching everything from sniffles to school sores to build him up Good’n’Strong ™.
I am (at first) inclined to agree with him, based purely on the strength of my own childhood. I went to the Goodwood Child Care Centre down the road and surely it was a wonderful, magical time during which I learned many things, made many friends and also, no doubt, caught many many diseases. I got sick, recovered, built up antibodies and moved on with the rest of my life, never to become ill ever again.
Seriously.
I can’t remember the last time I was sick that wasn’t of my own doing. To quote George Carlin:
“If I drop food on the floor I pick it up and eat it. Even if I’m at a sidewalk café. In Calcutta. The poor section. On New Year’s Morning during a soccer riot. And in spite of all that risky behaviour, in don’t get infections. I don’t get colds, I don’t get flus because I’ve got a good strong immune system.”
Stretching it? Maybe. But it’s true. I have a yearly cold, just to keep myself in shape and then I carry on eating off the floor.
So that’s because of my time spent in child care, is it? Well … no. It may have had something to do with it, but I was baptised in a truly special fire to get my immune system to where it is today. Remember the title of this post? I didn’t call it that to get to voyeurs from tBlog to actually stop writing scorchingly bad poetry about gard and read my blog for a change (why oh why didn’t I know about blogger when I started? Why is tBlog still so lame?!?). I am about to confess something that is not for the faint of heart or those who have ever thought about kissing me on the lips.
You have been warned …
It began years ago, before I learned to talk or walk, but after I could crawl. It was a bright sunny day on the Rancho del Franzy and Señor Franzy was playing with his son, Franzino, in the front yard (didn’t know we were Spanish, did you?). Something distracted Señor Franzy and momentarily his attenzione was elsewhere (I believe he was fighting a bull). A deadly situation. Little Franzino was off like a blond-haired bullet, exploring the farthest reaches of the Rancho del Franzy and learning much(o).
When Señor Franzy returned, he discovered exactly how much Franzino had picked up. Two important things. One: how to open the front gate and two: ….
…
…..
……
Dog poo is edible.
That is correct, señores y senoritas. When Señor Franzy found me after a brief and panic-filled search, to his horror I had exactly three something-fulls of dog shit and two of those somethings were hands.
I was either going to die from some bacteria-related illness or gain an immune system that could be passed down, intact, through the next five generations.
“This here is great-grandpa’s immune system, son. Don’t make that face, three generations have benefited from that radioactive rhino shit he was forced to eat back in the days when reality TV was legal.” (story-telling will run in the family)
“Wow, Dad! Can I eat some radioactive rhino shit?”
“Sure, son. Let’s go down to IkeaMaxiMart and get some!”
So there you have it. If you want a stronger immune system and less time spent battling those winter sniffles – eat some dog shit.
posted by:
PastorDave (
reply)
post date:
02.13.07 (6:31 am)
I'd suggest, and it is but a friendly and well meant suggestion, that you try very hard not to share this bit of personal trivia with any woman with whom you have even the slightest bit of romantic interest. That is, until you become quite serious and seek a long-time commitment- then, go ahead and confess. If she stays with you, then obviously there is an attraction that can survive even your less than ideal characteristics.
Good story. Bad poetry? You know, I read some of the poetry around here. Usually I cannot understand what the author(s) is trying to say. But I give the writer the benefit of the doubt, thinking it is my abyssmal lack of understanding of the great poets- how I survived those parts of English and American Lit I will never know.
Now, please go brush your teeth.
posted by:
Gem (
reply)
post date:
04.27.09 (5:25 pm)
I WENT TO GOODWOOD CHILDCARE CENTRE TOO!!!!
!!!!!!!!
posted by:
franzy (
reply)
post date:
04.27.09 (5:39 pm)
Remember Lisa? I saw her the other day and she is just the same. Goodness - when were you there? I was 80 - 84.
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