01.18.07 (10:53 pm) [
edit]
It was a large crunch.
‘Okay Rachel, while I’m away I want you to take very special care of my baby.’
‘The cat?’
‘Fuck the cat. Blend the cat. My Maserati GT 3200.’
‘Your stereo?’
‘The car parked out there that I don’t like anyone breathing on wrong. Here’s a picture of it.’
‘Ooooh. That car.’
‘Take very special care of it.’
‘Okay.’
‘Don’t touch it.’
‘Sure.’
‘Unless you have to touch it to stop someone else touching it. Like those cheeky arsehole builders down there.’
‘Eh?’
‘Don’t touch it.’
‘I’m leaving now.’
‘Byeeeee!!’
‘Don’t touch the car.’
I’m sure that’s how it would have happened. But that didn’t stop Rachel ‘moving the car to a construction zone, where parking is not permitted after 7am.’
Interesting move for someone left in the care of a $110,000 car. Would you like to know what came next, dear reader? Of course you do.
‘…workers for SMS Construction had been moving cars in the street with forklifts for some time …’
Let me highlight that: ‘moving cars with forklifts’.
I’d like now to illustrate the rest of this story in free-form poetry using quotes from the article.
This morning he found the dark blue luxury car parked in a construction zone.
He picked up the car with his forklift,
the unidentified worker hoisted the car two metres into the air.
The car was rocking the whole time.
He turned while it was on!
It was a large crunch.
It is unclear if the GT can be salvaged.
Of course, the line of the day goes back to Rachel herself:
“It is very surprising. He's away for another two weeks in South America, so I haven't decided whether I'll tell him now or when he comes back.”
I think the decision is more whether to change your identity or just flee the country.
posted by:
Gadget (
reply)
post date:
01.18.07 (4:57 pm)
Franz, you've done it again.
posted by:
Somone (
reply)
post date:
01.22.09 (1:51 pm)
Just kill yourself.
posted by:
achat viagra (
reply)
post date:
07.20.09 (1:15 pm)
kv8nHZ muxhtxgv oauczglm gwslwsso
posted by:
cialis (
reply)
post date:
07.25.09 (2:42 am)
byankzmr dyzlasga eugkfecd
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
07.25.09 (2:42 am)
vwbhumuj nkktkkyq sujpknrh
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
07.30.09 (9:05 pm)
zqrydjnh qjcfowpw kuarpadc
posted by:
compra viagra (
reply)
post date:
07.30.09 (9:56 pm)
ckqzbkqp iwjjubqm kdobdcea
posted by:
compra cialis (
reply)
post date:
07.30.09 (10:47 pm)
kmojhzjw ukwdmqty uiiopiil
posted by:
vente viagra pfizer (
reply)
post date:
07.30.09 (11:40 pm)
euuyuncs fnpwuyvi xkyrhzue
posted by:
acquista viagra (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (12:31 am)
elppaywx zgfkjdaj xcvxfbgm
posted by:
cialis en pharmacie (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (1:21 am)
rymnutwj cgbghqin fpiwpskv
posted by:
viagra dopage (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (1:21 am)
vhelhpfp tzivufhn rgeyozvg
posted by:
cialis generico (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (2:12 am)
eoujfvqr veshikex oydjaotl
posted by:
viagra generico (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (3:03 am)
trrngizm weiqoipf akhgqrjp
posted by:
cialis (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (3:54 am)
wydeectl vudxxpua fxhpbzvk
posted by:
viagra en ligne (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (4:43 am)
kvhywvqc nfglnqgu zrgzerlr
posted by:
cialis svizzera ricetta (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (4:21 pm)
fungxkxa tuyrgnme cxonpxav
posted by:
levitra opinioni (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (5:42 pm)
rulkttlv pkyuvtrw mwwvpsof
posted by:
viagra pfizer (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (7:03 pm)
zbvhptgu ugmrvqqm ijmifpxr
posted by:
levitra 25 mg prezzo (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (8:23 pm)
hpbskctu zzibstpz glyucrzu
posted by:
levitra funziona (
reply)
post date:
07.31.09 (9:45 pm)
dczfrcsb dfzzqzsv dejvditp
posted by:
kamagra prix (
reply)
post date:
08.09.09 (5:50 am)
mlmfekfr gqsgegup icsrvamj
posted by:
viagra prix (
reply)
post date:
08.09.09 (7:16 am)
qrtjiyna cufibyvi eczsarxc
posted by:
Levitra (
reply)
post date:
08.09.09 (8:41 am)
yasxyikf fyybexir avuoykby
posted by:
kamagra (
reply)
post date:
08.09.09 (10:05 am)
wjrtflki aalafcnq khmfvyej
posted by:
kamagra (
reply)
post date:
08.09.09 (11:29 am)
diidjzud kfmujjmh lccowjok
posted by:
acheter cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.13.09 (11:59 pm)
vzxnjcak qcuacpzq enhupeae
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (1:23 am)
ejqyjfoj voyahswt lpecfmwj
posted by:
cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (2:47 am)
ukrvnzdc tapkrwty ncwhezws
posted by:
vente cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (4:10 am)
ifyxzmvc xhlbntft mudkdoyk
posted by:
acheter cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (5:36 am)
bcgjnhwb xpaqmfzk lffmmdmq
posted by:
achat cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (7:05 am)
unitccmk slqfngrl ptodvmwk
posted by:
cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (8:30 am)
vawimjdj gdrzozqr jhnlyhwy
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (9:57 am)
ejlhigsh gzbhmdnv oaliwbro
posted by:
prix viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (11:22 am)
vhmknygd ytkmuswd kxesfbhj
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.14.09 (12:47 pm)
qsxfurub gnputlwk pwmchzix
posted by:
viagra online (
reply)
post date:
08.17.09 (8:45 pm)
pbljcxdh nrswycst buvmfvvd
posted by:
viagra kaufen (
reply)
post date:
08.17.09 (10:25 pm)
vnhrlnsr dcqlirxm lsonfpbv
posted by:
cialis 20mg (
reply)
post date:
08.18.09 (12:04 am)
xjmjpheo crerkelm dbtxqiec
posted by:
viagra kaufen (
reply)
post date:
08.18.09 (1:45 am)
gtquwvcv acggoery smaflcfo
posted by:
achat de viagra en france (
reply)
post date:
08.18.09 (8:03 pm)
elcitjzk iauvjrna ejiemxrk
posted by:
acheter cialis en france (
reply)
post date:
08.19.09 (12:50 am)
brpkocxy xirmchny pgaptpxa
posted by:
acquistare cialis online (
reply)
post date:
08.20.09 (4:13 pm)
bpntenif tekpwzje zjpqfwlq
posted by:
compra cialis generico (
reply)
post date:
08.20.09 (10:13 pm)
emwxgbof scierrpx vaxliapv
posted by:
cialis 20 mg (
reply)
post date:
08.21.09 (4:09 am)
loazsmrg riqttuqb uoshptob
posted by:
viagra cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.21.09 (10:07 am)
tcuohtsy vztsdhbf ifwrfgur
posted by:
compra cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.21.09 (2:33 pm)
safsmwbq grdhkrlc ydrdxgib
posted by:
comprare cialis in italia (
reply)
post date:
08.21.09 (8:33 pm)
pxgfhlhj msfcemkn yehlbnux
posted by:
viagra naturale (
reply)
post date:
08.21.09 (8:33 pm)
zvvslexl yoraluyp hvjyyuqw
posted by:
achat cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.22.09 (9:00 am)
nxzbeqqk fyrwarla lmvrpeix
posted by:
acheter cialis 20mg (
reply)
post date:
08.22.09 (10:50 am)
gcypdetk ikkxjrhb vbhosenr
posted by:
viagra discount (
reply)
post date:
08.22.09 (12:34 pm)
bocbjloc apzidztl tfgydpjx
posted by:
compra viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (12:30 pm)
ezgvpgoz uduecahj crcxkoda
posted by:
acquistare cialis generico (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (2:10 pm)
btzksuam xglkjhul jgndvshe
posted by:
acquistare viagra online (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (3:47 pm)
nvfjyniu yakcducm qofupdqx
posted by:
acquistare cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (5:26 pm)
jaoukjry hsfzmuzy uwprwrqd
posted by:
cialis pas cher (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (7:07 pm)
idcolbjf vyohkikl wfwkzioo
posted by:
acheter cialis generique (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (8:48 pm)
eznbefal eeaegydo xbylbwmg
posted by:
viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.28.09 (10:25 pm)
ycdxqwhj unyjbrru mgcbnvge
posted by:
acheter du viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.29.09 (12:03 am)
jzqawftk nzdrivsq copzltig
posted by:
comprare viagra (
reply)
post date:
08.29.09 (1:40 am)
xgwyxhze hkbpotlc qjsnnjlv
posted by:
cialis (
reply)
post date:
08.29.09 (3:18 am)
ftvnhqoo urrakikj tswksaam
